How we test
Published in full, because a recommendation you cannot audit is just an opinion with a link attached.
Acquisition
We buy review units at retail through ordinary consumer channels, at ordinary consumer prices, using accounts not identified as press. This matters more than it sounds: brands that supply seeded units to reviewers select which units get sent, and quality control on a hand-picked sample is not quality control on the one that arrives at your house.
Where a brand offers a review unit unsolicited, we either decline it or accept it, disclose it on the page, and buy a second retail unit to compare. If the two differ, that difference becomes the story.
Material verification
Every unit goes through the same sequence before anything else is assessed.
- The listing claim is recorded verbatim, with a screenshot and a date, so a later edit cannot quietly change the record.
- The unit is weighed and measured against its published specification. We record insertable length, total length, maximum circumference, and base diameter.
- Odour is assessed on unboxing, before washing, and again after 72 hours of open-air rest.
- A surface tack test is run at ambient temperature and again after 30 days.
- Where the listing claims silicone and any prior step raises doubt, a sliver is taken from a concealed surface and burn-tested outdoors. Silicone chars to pale ash without dripping. Thermoplastics melt, drip, and smoke.
A unit whose material contradicts its listing is failed on the spot regardless of how it performs otherwise, and the seller is named.
The scoring rubric
The safety index on our home page is a weighted composite, not a vibe.
| Factor | Weight | What earns full marks |
|---|---|---|
| Porosity | 40% | Sealed, non-porous surface confirmed by material class |
| Sterilization | 25% | Survives boiling or autoclave without deformation |
| Plasticizer dependence | 20% | Flexibility is inherent to the polymer, nothing added migrates out |
| Disclosure quality | 15% | Named polymer, named cure system or grade, verifiable at point of sale |
Disclosure quality is weighted deliberately. A material that is probably fine but unverifiable is a worse purchase than a material that is definitely fine, because you are buying the seller's honesty along with the object.
What we do not do
- We do not accept payment for inclusion, position, or score. There is no rate card, because there is nothing to sell.
- We do not send drafts to brands before publication, and we do not accept embargoes that come with copy approval.
- We do not publish a recommendation for a product nobody on the team has physically handled.
- We do not run a “best of” list where every entry wins. If a category has two good options, the list is two items long.
Corrections
Errors get fixed in place, with a dated note at the foot of the page describing what changed. We do not silently edit. If a manufacturer reformulates a product we have recommended, the page is re-tested or the recommendation is pulled.
To report an error, write to hello@bestdildos.com. Include the URL and what you believe is wrong.
Limits of our expertise
We are not clinicians. We test materials and report what we find. We do not diagnose, we do not advise on medical conditions, and nothing on this site substitutes for a conversation with a doctor. Pain, bleeding, or persistent irritation is a reason to see a professional, not a reason to buy a different product.
How we are paid
Affiliate commission, and nothing else. When a reader buys through a link on this site, the retailer pays us a percentage of the sale at no additional cost to the reader. The commission rate does not vary by score, and we do not know a product's commission rate at the point of testing because material verification happens before anyone looks at monetization.